Extract from the book;  Family Soup

“Sweetheart , you have totally changed, why?”. She asked in a sad mood. Those are the many statements we can’t miss in relationships & Marriages. I am sure that on the epitome of things for any happy relationship, there should be understanding that change will come. Many people hold on the false beliefs that things will remain the same for the rest of their lives and the people they fall in love with.

Everything changes in this world, people change, places change , attitudes change, thoughts change and opinions change , but for some reason (wrong of course) we think the person we loved on day one will be the same for the rest of their lives.

When you first get together with your partner, it’s like everything is out of a dream. Looks like an unimaginable dream come true, You get excited, you sweetly enjoy dates, and you imagine ways you could get the bliss ever. But as the bible says , there is time for everything to be born and to die. This whole phase of fantasies also end, which is inevitable no matter how deep and sweet in love you are.

The woman or man you are will be completely different few years from now, you may be in a great situation with a steady income but tomorrow you may work for yourself and struggle in some situation . You may be funny today; tomorrow you may lose the spark and be boring. Everything changes and the earlier we know this the easier we walk smoothly in life . I am not saying all changes are bearable but positive changes should be embraced and adapted to. Instead of wallowing in the situation , we better understand and live by that .

“My Jim totally changed, I will dump him , i can’t handle” she said . If the changes are not hurting negative then that shouldn’t be the phrase to use. Instead it should be ; “My Jim changed , I am trying to learn his new ways and I am sure we will discover a new life situation to enjoy that fits our current desires” . See, the moment we deny the reality that things change at some time , the more we live in a wallowing and whining situation and this situation’s pangs are unbearable .

We live at a time when we think people are exchangeable, replaceable and movable yet we believe less in changing and evolving ourselves. It is not rare to hear couples say, “He’s no better, I let him to be’, “I’ll dump him and find someone else.” So we say, brag and think. And quicker if we don’t do a self awareness test we go and find a new lover who displays the exact same things, if not worse as the previous one. Guess why?, because we attract what we are inside most times.

We have been brought up to be independent, and this is an incredible discipline; we are self-made and self-sustaining which is good but taken to the extreme, this attitude is guaranteed to interfere with modern relationships. The fact that you are in a relationship or marriage means you were not 100% able to be independent, so let the colonialist take their part and just know in that changes will happen, so be flexible.

In relationships we all have to accept the parallelism of both independence and colonialism to prevail. No one can be exchanged for anyone else in the name of Independence.

Your partner is not a pair of pants you picked up at a street mall that you can go and pick another. Your partner was placed in your life for a greater reason in divine timing for a divine purpose. They are human beings brimming with flaws and awful failings but also abounding with potential transformation. Be flexible and understand them..

Extract from the book  #FamilySoup. You can read more from here >> FAMILY SOUP BOOK

About Me

Nicholas K. Quest  >> is  a Best Selling Transformational Author, Consultant and Serial Entrepreneur. He is passionate about helping others to achieve their greatest dreams and ambitions through his Transformational education & development programs. Follow Nicholas’ work through his training/Publishing and Consulting firms respectively: Legacy Pearls Africa, NBK-Premier Solutions, DETT Community

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