Hurt, betrayed, disappointed, disrespected is all we feel when Cheated on. To love and open your heart to another is such a vulnerable thing to do and when we get cheated on indeed we get into a very dire helpless situation. It takes tremendous courage to let someone into your heart deeply and once you let someone in, one of the most painful things as a human being is to be cheated on. A reality survey confirms that 7/10 of every couple ever cheated and 2/10 are liable to cheat once or twice in the entire life, only 1/10 can be determined to stay not cheating their entire life. Even with that reality at our disposal, we are still so weak to handle the cheating experience. It is natural. If you found out that your partner cheats, what do you do? Is your relationship over? Or should you try and work it out? Tough Questions we wanna explore ahead.
“If your partner cheats on you, it is undoubtedly deeply painful. To feel your heart and trust betrayed is a difficult thing to recover from. So does that automatically mean the end of your relationship?”
Quest Insights 2020
Consider this:
A relationship is a profound path of personal growth, self realization and spiritual evolution. You attracted your partner because your souls have certain things familiar to teach each other. The purpose of relationship is to serve each other’s growth, learn lessons together, and become the most authentic version of yourself.
So if you understand the real purpose of relationship, then you also understand that inevitably stuff will come up in the relationship, in order to be worked on. You are both human beings with “stuff”. Just ensure day by day that you work on those “Stuff”. i am not saying to be a prisoner of stuff but am meaning to influence stuff to your favor if there is a possibility. I talked about this topic in darling detail in my book #FamilySoup
I know it’s arguable but truth be told there is only one thing that leads to Cheating in relationships and marriage. That thing is none other than CHOICE. Everyone chooses to cheat minus a few that are propelled by circumstances. But let that not get you mad, there are a thousand reasons that lead to one making this choice and being in an unavoidable circumstance. These are the #Stuff to focus on: Lacking communication, ego, weakness, lack, starvation and hunger for adventure/exploration (did i say that?.. ;)), are among the a thousand. Work on the #Stuff. Choice and circumstance is just a manifestation of all the other #stuff. Work on the stuff as i highly discussed in the book: FAMILY SOUP: Inspiring the Wow Factor! But before you work on the stuff. First look into the following insights:
Ask what is well besides this mess
It is very easy to get stuck in focusing on the worst things happening and forget all the good things still working. Regardless of the worst scenario, don’t forget that all things aren’t working, there is always alot more good, so build on that to dilute the toxicity.
When I had several slumps (not cheating related) in my relationship I asked myself this question; “What is working so far?”, I realized even though we had failed to settle and agree for marriage but we had had amazing daughters in our entire time of dating, that alone helped me to open up my mind and to not get too focused on only the things that weren’t going so well, even when we chose to uncouple our relationship, we remained great co-parents sharing all we had regardless different paths. This also applies to tough time like when cheated on. Stuff happens but what else is working… From here then……..
……..Have a Gratitude Checklist
In times of mess and disappointment like cheating revelation we can get filled with hopelessness as if we have nothing good in life. We start thinking of ourselves as not worth and enough and questioning why the other party had to make that. Given much attention, that feeling becomes toxic. so you got to dissolve and transcend it. A gratitude practice is something i always do when I want to reduce frustration. It can be in terms of meditation, reflection, journaling or acts. Ask yourself: What are 3 things that you can still be grateful for at this moment regardless of the mess? Don’t complicate it, just appreciate the smallest things around you other than focusing on the bad times; a smile that a work mate gave you, a good meal you had, good moments you have with children, a beautiful home, a great job, etc!
It is always painful seeing such hard time knock in life, but our work as humanity is not to have great moments alone but also to transcend everything that comes our way! I want to hear from you! Share you views in comments! Namaste!
About Me
Nicholas K. Quest >> I am a Transformational Author, Consultant and Serial Entrepreneur, passionate about helping others to achieve their greatest dreams and ambitions through Transformational education & development programs.
Follow my work through our training/Publishing and Consulting firms respectively: Legacy Pearls Africa, NBK-Premier Solutions, DETT Community
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Live. Love. Now!
