Conventionally we have been conditioned by society and tradition that men should be the breadwinner, romance initiators and missionaries of providence and protection in the household. It might have been possible and the real deal then but in today’s world it is not necessarily the case.
Many couples find themselves in a situation where they both have to work to contribute to the financial, emotional and moral fabric that relationships are. This traditional belief has a huge impact on conventional thinking men today from an egoistic perspective in that they (and society) place expectations on themselves that they should be the sole providers for their family. Get me well, it is still the right thing for a man to be a lion’s share breadwinner, but come on, two is company and that is strength.
And in a situation where one is struggling, one can always come in for another. However often men deem admitting as a weakness and/or feel ashamed and embarrassed about the situation. As men we need to realize that it is not a sign of weakness but rather of brevity and truth to ask for help or manifest current weakness and struggles.
Dear sisters (married/relating ones), Love that man who admits his struggles and invites you towards getting over. Well, I don’t mean those who whine as they comfortably ignore the roles and responsibility but I mean those authentically seeking a shoulder to lean on, a helping hand and a pat at the back to get ahead.
Women need to realize that men are not productive machines, they equally struggle, breakdown and need a support system on which they can rely. We both struggle and as a couple, there should be willingness to shoulder responsibility from either partner.
Whether dating or fully settled, we all need to willingly jump in and take charge of situations in all aspects. Both parties should be proactive and have a map of things drawn together, contribute as per capacity and walk together authentically. Forget the conventional thought. This is another era, living in the past means living in misery.
When a woman criticizes a man’s situation, she creates room for the man to step back and hide his situation. This is very bad because all over time the receiving party will be expecting abundant provision emotionally and physically only to find disappointment. This is when false assumptions like infidelity arise.
This is an extract from the Book; FAMILY SOUP (coming soon), Authored by Nicholas K. Quest. Order your copy in advance by dropping an email to: nichol.bk24@gmail.com
