Life is uncertain. No one have got a clear road map of how it unfolds each day. We can bump into challenges any time. No one is immune. Relationships, work, family issues, sickness, business, name it all. Not forgetting this universal #Covid19 scourge lock down and scare that is affecting everything of how we live. We all face them at some time.
You can choose to embrace each hard time and enjoy the ride, joyfully learning from your experiences along the way; or you can choose to rebel against all of life’s challenges, resenting every moment of your journey. The latter robs you of your energy while the former gives you the opportunity too become a highly evolved being that nothing can shake, something i referred to as the art of being Unfuckwithable in my book, THE CHAMPION’S MOJO
Where as in general you may call this grit, but there are immutable beliefs, a mindset, something like a habit to practice deep inside of your core being. In my experience i have explored the following core beliefs to be outstanding.
Believe that situations aren’t eternal
Nothing lasts forever. Even the Biblical Noah’s flood had a deadline. There is an end to anything regardless of how it treats you. Have that belief, keep it immutable and abide with it, it saves you stress of worry. Being in my early years of struggle, my vision to overcome things remained an illusion. I assumed getting old was the safe option, Yes, i grew and got the happiness i wanted – providing for my mother, having an income, job and career path, it was all good for sometime, only to get ahead and find new bigger challenges.
It’s the time i realized nothing in life – whether it be your happiness, problems or your possessions – is permanent. So no matter what stage you are at in life, remember nothing lasts forever. Challenges, places we live in, joys, friendships, money and love interests will come and go, they are all bound to some sense of change or expiry. Believing in no eternity of situations give your mind the joy to adapt and code new ways ahead.
Self-Love/Care
Self-love is not selfishness, its the genesis of all love and energy. It’s about putting yourself first, but that doesn’t mean being selfish. It is about the realization that you are like a heart, your better health and condition helps other parts to survive and other parts well being makes you survive too. It’s about guarding self first beyond selfishness. Stop overextending yourself and feeling compelled to say “yes” to everything and everyone around you because of their needs yet those needs leave you drained.
It is good to be of help and contribution, but whats that without you?. Learn to unplug, enjoy a date night by yourself, and do something you enjoy most. Do whatever makes you feel good so that the goodness you attract can spread to others. We are love, made of love, so we must irrigate that love within us and let the fruits feed others too. See thyself as a seed that needs care to produce more. Love thyself first, after all, as the old adage goes, you can’t give what you don’t have enough.
Stop trying to be all things to everyone around you leaving little for yourself. Stop agreeing with others because you want to be a people pleaser. It is draining and serves no purpose to you and to them in long term. It doesn’t make you a bad person when you start to prioritize what’s most important in your life.
Be Unapologetically You
When i was young, i suffered from scabies and had many injuries on my body given the many years of abuse as i ran into & slept in the bush and poor situations escaping violence at home (this story can be traced in my book >> here ), It took me almost a decade to begin embracing my scary body and other imperfections. In a world that constantly tells us to look, act and behave like others, it is easy to live your situation and focus on fabricating a plastic living covering up unresolved challenges in your closet.
If we can’t be unapologetically who we are, we begin to lose sight of who we are and can barely recognize and invent new codes to make a new version of ourselves. Being you means stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing your imperfections, and when you do this, you realize how little you care about what others think of you and this gives you morale to change and beat odds and become evolved. Becoming unapologetically yourself allows you to be free from restrictions and control and gives you the freedom to be your true self without fears. And we all know being fearless is a master key to transformation of whatever situation. Being fearless means transcending every situation other than resenting on it.
Be content with where you have reached.
“You are where you are meant to be in life” , is a famous encouragement i get from my mentor Salim . Whereas it sounds like another ordinary scripture of conformity, given attention it means a lot. When i was in my early 20s, it seemed reasonable and easily attainable to believe that i would be a married parent with my own home, beautiful vacation and a wife that would better me, because that’s what was painted from the convention. I thought by 30 i would have a perfect and smooth career with loads of money in the bank able to help communities while fattening my investments around the world.
I don’t know about you, but to me i am almost competing my 4th decade on earth and i have worked so hard and all those things never happened directly, that’s still great because i have had many other successes that i never imagined, Life unfolds its way, we can only feel grateful of where we are so as to get to another level. As famous Author Wayne Dyer puts; “If you cant appreciate what you have, you don’t need and deserve anything more”. You’re meant to be where you are in life at this very moment because of the cosmic positioning and natural circumstances. Unless you have wasted time and opportunities, don’t agonize over the things that everyone seems to be doing. Life is not a race, so be patient and keep doing the best you can, the best is always ahead of us.
Nicholas K. Quest >>>> I am an Author, Consultant and Serial Entrepreneur. Follow more of my work on the following platforms: Legacy Pearls Africa, NBK-Premier Solutions, DETT Community
Follow me on Twitter: @KatushabeN Facebook: NICHOLAS K QUEST LinkedIn: NICHOLAS K QUEST Instagram: NICHOLAS K QUEST.
Live. Love. Now!
